Is it September yet ?

New month , new day , new things......and I have to face the same old boring same olds . More schoolworks , more people to hate , more people to make me jealous and more people to make me sad . On the other hands , there's more monthly test , more projects and more....shits . -_-"

Good night everyone . It's so empty here .

Strange..

Maybe I sound abit like an attention whore , why no people comment my blog :S ? Maybe My blog is bored so there are no one to come here anymore ? Hmm.......maybe I should ignore the surrounding for now .

Anyway , Me and my niece just talked about trying to smoke . She admited that she smoked while I admited that I have the urge to do so too . So we just tell each other to control ourselves to avoid health hazard and others uncomfortable consequences in the near future . Sigh , can't wait for holiday and run down to KL and go visit some places I never see before .

Probability

I am still wonder why this mathematic topic exists at all ? I just hate to observe a situation and then apply some formula to determind how high a chance to win/lose or draw a thing ?! WHY ?! Does that mean life is so predictable ? Is life that lame ? Is life that's so cheap and it requires calculating to solve a problem ? I despise this math topic no matter what , cause now I can't finish the whole probability topic now , and the math teacher will soon continue to another chapter . Guess what ? I am looking forward to it . I want to dump that topic and continue with another one , even though I learn some of the basic formula to "calculate our lives" . :/

Tomorrow morning my niece will be going back to KL(by plane , as she said she vowed not to take bus again after she tried to came back here last Sunday with a bus) , will miss her , cause now I got nobody to joke and talk about everything :( . She also asked me to come down KL around November or December . Hmm..that's sounds good to me , as I already 18 and manage to do some "Adult thingy" :P . Oh well , guess I will continue to portrait my long face at school for the next three months .

I set up my time table to organise my study and playing time , guess I have to reduce my playing time and get serious . But soon maybe I will forget all the things I must do , hehe :P .

So how about today's event ? Hmm..nothing happened , just took my niece to a shopping centre to walk around , then came home and have to drive out again to attend my math tuition . Wow , talk about tired :S .

So what to wish ?

With half an hour left before the whole country explode with happiness , what should I wish to Malaysia ? Here goes :

Down with the censorship board

Goodness that's all I got ? My head is in pain now , as I (again x10) slept in the wrong way :S . Can't play painkiller , as the graphic can make me throw up under this situation . My bro got himself a digicam , good for him , while I ordered Tron 2.0 for only RM 89 :D , such a shiny characters , aren't they ?

Later me gonna sleep , wanna wake up and buy some things and yell "Malaysia sucks" all over the town .

Oh yea , come on comrades , let's sing our national anthem for our motherland .

Negaraku ,
Tanah tumpahnya najisku ,
Rakyat hidup ,
Bercerai dan roboh ,
Rahmat derita , hantu kurniakan ,
Raja kita , selamat masuk kubur .(x2)

Happy Merdeka , everyone .

*puzzled*

Today a group of my former class mates came back from KL to pay some of their "friends" a visit . During a free period , I took a chance to meet and greet them . As I said "hi" to one of my male class mate (no prices for guessing) , he was either staring at me for along time and turned or he was looking elsewhere . I was puzzled , and I tried to greet him again and he still act like I am not exist . Cool , this is how I get a treatment from a person who got straight As in SPM *rolls eyes* . That's why I don't like them...at all .

I am not trying to point finger here , but to all those who get straight As or score very well in your exam , please always REMEMBER YOUR FRIENDS . You can't just throw them away , like a chewing gum for instance . I can't believe that a person who waved goodbye at me two months ago returned with this kind of attitude . So yea , I just let it passed , I left him while he kept talking to others . I also suspect that he was influenced by the backstabber who just leave me after he score straight As in PMR . So what to do ? He will go back in a few days time , if only I have a chance again to show my middle finger at him . :/

Anyway , tomorrow is Malaysia 47th Independant Day . Congrats and there's something to cheer up about after a superb-ley lame performce by our sportmen in Athen .

I wanna know , have you ever seen the rain ?

Weird weather , huh ? The monsoon hasn't arrived yet and it's already raining like dogs and cats . I can't even wash my car after it got serviced this morning , took them surprisingly an hour to finish their job , kudos .

And now it's still shower outside , and it is so cold and I am now sitting infront of my comp , topless -_-" . This Saturday my niece will arrive in Kota Bharu in reaking morning !! Why she chose to take night bus(which she will depart in Friday night) ?! I gonna rape her on that morning she arrives -_-" . Anyway it's good to have her visits here for some time , we can talk alot of crapola , from her work to my class , EVERYTHING .

Nothing strange today , except I messaged that girl to ask her about her health . She replied with "okie and thanks for your concern , take care" . Hmm..later gonna disturb her :p .

Lazy holiday

Tomorrow morning , at exact 9 am , I have to drive my Kelisa to get serviced as shecduled . That's one good time as there are few people drive their cars here to be serviced too . Beside , I remembered last time I had to come at 3 am afternoon and I dozed off cause the service took about 2 hours . And in that service station is where I got the idea to post thread about circumcision in Xfresh too :P .

Anyway , I am having a lazy holiday now . Even though I do revise my subjects everyday , I am not doing harder . All I just sit down , do wokr for 1 hour and that's it . Then I look for another subject to read . I just go through all the subjects for 3 days now , and I feel like I am wasting my time -_-" . I still play game , right after I done my revision , I just play for half an hour and that's it . Yet still , this stupid depression circling my head . Bleh , I am mend to be gloomy all the time , don't you think ?

Later gonna help my mom check mark for her class , got the chance to comment on those n00bs' calculations and showing off my 1337ness in add math , which is one subject I partly dislike . Oh well , life's like a flight of stairs , we always compare our old self to the inexperience ones . That girl is sick , thank goodness she felt sick in holiday , go whole lotta time for her to rest . I had told her before that sleeping late was bad for her health and now she got it right after the holiday started :S . Hmm......why am I so concern about her anyway ? :/

Patrick is going bald , 0wnage !!!!!

Now they really made me angry..

Note : Fazri already knew this story :P

It goes like this , this shit happened in Thursday , when it was our last school day as a week holiday was ahead of us . On the last three period , Lady Luck smiled on us as all teachers had to attend meeting so they left us with nothing to do (except holiday works) , so why the hell should I stop them from talking ? I just minding my own buisness by reading newspaper and finished some math questions .

Minutes gone by , two more period before the bell rang , one boy from the other class walked in and joined a group of girl chatting , well there was nothing wrong with it , so I ignored him and continued reading my newspaper . But things got a little uneasy as the class became more noisier than the "normal" noise I expected , the group which the boy joined in kept laughing loudly while stomping their feet , I hushed at them to lower their voices and they did....for just a couple of second .

Like everyone said to me before , ignored those guys as the majority of my class was all from other school and they always group together . So heed those so called "advice" . Things getting worst as they laughed(except the feet stomping) like a bunch of hyenas in the dark . My nerve started to crack but yet I still hold on . Suddenly , one girl from the group walked out from the group and then for no reason at all , or maybe I didn't know what happened behind me , lost balance as if she being pushed by someone and stumbled on the table which just right beside me . The table knock my left arms and disturbed my concentration on my newspaper .

On the time like that , I couldn't believe that you wouldn't pissed if you were me . My head said :"That's it , I am pissed" , I felt my whole head getting warmer , my vision became abit blur , I felt the sensation of wanting to yell.....I blew my top . I let out a loud howl "HOI !!!" at the girl . The whole class was silent , and I turned to look at the same group with my fierce eyes while breathing hard , I could feel the heat circling around my face as I watched each of them , sulking with their heads down as they made eye contact with me in a few milisecond . As minutes went by I returned to my newspaper and continued reading .

The silince won't last long , but the noise seemed lower , so I managed to cold down and took a nap . As there was about 40 minutes to go , the boy came to me and apologised for the loud noise that they had made , oh well , I just nodded and gave him a polite wave before he went out from my class . Su rprisingly , as I wanna go to the toilet , some kids who also came from the same school as the boy , gave me a pat on the back , and thanked me for shutting the group's mouths as they wanna slept in the class . I shrugged , replied them with my lame smile and continued my way to the toilet , while humming one of KMFDM's single which its quote completely suited this situation :

"You only got respect when you are kicking ass" - KMFDM

Yup , I kicked their asses that day . Yes I did , I never felt this happy before .

Drag , poker and Japanese

After having lunch and playing cards with my friend at his house , it was time for me to go home , can't let my mom wait . So as I turned into the main road , it was nearly empty . With no speed limit nor any police on the road , I stepped on the pedal . As I played NFS : Underground before , so I dragged my kancil till 80 km/j as the long was very long , wide and straight . Woohoo !! Talk about being superman !! I didn't know how long the road is , but as I reached the final traffic light(there is a total of 5 or less traffic lights on the road) , traffic got a little heavier , so I had to slow down .

Speaking of cards , some of my friends who came back from college roped me in to play for 2 hours . We didn't use our money , we just punished those who lost by making them did push up for 5 times . Somehow they also learnt guitar in the college they are in now(Nilai College me think) , they could strum The Eagle's "Hotel California" live version . Wow , I wish I can learn to play guitar after STPM -_-" .

Forgot to write about the Jap invasion on our school . It was just a bunch of Japenese girls , not more than 5 people , walked around my school and finished . Somehow after school I met with my friend , who too had to take one Japenese to look around the town . So yea , he introduced his Japenese friend to me , and we shole hand . His name was...if I am not mistaken...Kozu , so we chatted for a while but they had to rush cause they had to buy lunch for their families . Short conversation but hey , I can get a closer look at a Japenese without any disturbence :D .

Piuh , that's all I wanna write . Happy holiday .

Where's my panadol ?

So here I am again , drooling at my monitor while the pain keep pounding my head as I slept the wrong way (for the 16th times in this year) .

Speaking of headache , I still remember my 14-years-old-paranoid-self , as I kept wondering whether my constant headache was actually a tumour after I read one story about a young kid who struggled for his live to fight brain tumour .

Okie that's one short dumb story , I wanna think of something to write now . Somehow my math teacher took a peep at my report card and it was obviously that he found something to tease about . And yea , he told the whole class that they must score at least bla-bla-bla-I-didn't-care about-the-score so they can make it into universities . I would have gave him the middle finger . So what ? As if I care , this is only a first monthly test and you fucker exaggerated it .

People scored better than me , so ? They get number one in class , so ? "Please lah , give me some more point so I can get into top 10 " , SO ?! Fuck that education system , it makes me sick .

My love life ? Hah , it's still at its low point . I feel bored to talk about it as there are nothing interesting happened . I feel like doing a Grand Theft Auto and shoot every couple in the street who passes me by . DIE !! YOU SON OF THE BITCHES !!! EAT HOT LEAD !!

*shoot everyone with shotgun*

K back to my senses , I will sleep early tonight , tomorrow practical chemistry and I don't want to ruin it with my tired eyes -_-" .

Everyday is Valentine's day , soon I will go nuts as everyone getting cheeky in the TV , on the radio to dedicate some cheesy love songs to their partners . -_-"

Goodbye

Bye guys , I feel like ending my life now , later I will drink a cup of Risect and lay on my bed . Yea , my life sucks and full of shit , fuck it . And fuck you all for making me jealous , depress , preasured and angry .

Adios and fuck you all . Bye .






PS : Cibai Yung was actually trying to sleep but in vain , so he felt like becoming an attention whore for a moment -_-"

So called realisation

Have you ever experienced this..."feeling" ? For example , you take drug and you go on for a long time now like you are enjoying it . Then your parents or relatives keep telling you to quit untill you realised that what you have done is wrong .

An easy example , isn't it ? Then explain to me this , last year I "realised" that scoring high in acedemic doesn't directly proportional to a person with bright future , take a look at those medic students wannabe who still whine about the courses they failed to get . Then this year , I suddenly "realised" again that I must compete with others "in order to stay alive in the future" . So for a week , I felt paranoid of my surrounding , eapacially my class mates . I kept thinking that they will score better than me in STPM and go to universities they desire while I am here , still stuck with my poor STPM result and I can even imagine myself begging for money in the street .

Now I am sitting down and stare in front of my monitor , take a deep breath and thiking deeply . And "realised" again and again that what I thinked(and wrote) in the first paragraph were fucking absurd . I still can solve math problem even some difficult questions required me a long time to think , and physics is all about apply a suitable equation , and yet it's hard too cause we have to prove the theory way before solving the problem :S . While chemistry ? All I can do is memorise and write any essay I encounter and give to my teacher to comment . So there , I returned to my normal self again , the person who-thinks-scoring-straight-As-doesn't-mean-there's-a-uni-waiting-for-you .

So there , have you ever experienced this ? Realisation after realisation over a matter you confused with . Human brain is one fucked-up organ , cause people like me to think too much and yea I even thought about commiting suicide(the first thought was during PMR , which I got 6 As) -_-" . All I can do is jump off my school's building and close my eyes , waiting to hear the sound "thud" and I will sleep forver . Or maybe I can drink a galeon of Risect and it takes only a minutes and a few coughs and sleep forver too :D .

yea everyone hates their own life , why not ? My study is mediocre , my so called love life just torn apart even it's only a begining . The moto "Shit Happens" has stuck in my head forever , as it's a perfect excuse for me to overcome a problem or my depression .

So what am I going to do now ? Later I will continue my chemistry revision and yea I admit , I still can't forget that girl , it's just fucking irresistable :S . Next week's holiday will be a perfect time for me to cool myself down , cause lately I just depress whenever a couple passes me by , even in the chat room :S(nobody is suspected) .

Moby's Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad ? pop out from my mind , so here's the simply lyrics from the song .

Why does my heart
Feel so bad ?
Why does my soul
Feel so bad ?

These open doors

That's all for now...

Hooray !!

Seven days of my brother's evil regime is over now . He's on the train back to Johor Bharu , now time to update my blog and reinstall my Painkiller :D.

Tomorrow there will be lost of people come to my school . Firstly , it's my friend who just came back from KL 3 days ago to check his former class mates again . Secondly , there's a possibility that a group of Japanese will come along too , must be Leo Society's idea to bring them here :/. No , I like Japenese people , their culture(anime comes first !!) or whatsoever they have have in their country , it's just I don't like some Japenese posuers (yes , some former members of Leo Society or anyone who can speak Japenese A LITTLE BIT) show off that they can communicate with them in their language . So maybe I will stay away and stare at them from the other side -_-".

Anyway , wanna see some break dancing goths ? Click here .

blogging is not available

My bro came back for a week , so I hardly blog just for the sake of not revealing my so called "secret lair" . -_-"

Who will win ?

Fuck that stupid show , I am talking about the Asian Cup final between China and Japan . Really , this thing never come across my mind , as 2 nations will face each other again since Japan fucked China in the ass during World War 2 . Hmm...Japan will have better advantage on this final but with China's old grudges against them while with the backing of humongus chinese fanatics , it will be an uphill task against a communist country .

Hmm..I still can't decide who will win , but this will be one explosive match , I want to see some brawl between the players , woohoo !!! Oh yea I made up my mind....

LONG LIVE CHINA !!!!

Dessert in my blog

Hell , my blog is a total dessert for nearly a week now :S . Time for an "update" I think . Doom 3 is finally out , w00t !! Time to collect money and ordered again since my Painkiller just arrived yesterday after a 3 weeks wait(what take them so fucking long ? -_-") .

Thursday again , time to take a long walk in a shopping centre tonight . Oh yea , I almost forgot that I must start to "keep fit" by jogging outside my house at 5 pm later .

Nothing interesting now , and excuse me , I got some painkilling to do .