Dream a little dream of you..

This memory still haunt me. Whenever I walk, whenever I revise, whenever I try to sleep, this memory keep on taunting me. This is the dream that I can't let go, it's so real as I could touch her, it's so real that I said what I ttried to say, and it's so real tthat it left me in deep confusion. I can't help it, I need to write it out, can't forget it...

It's another afternoon like any other day. No one at home, parents, older brother, maid, all gone out, poof. Only me, sitting in front of my PC typing away, an action that still baffled me. Suddenly a figure walked up to the stair, I never realised untill this slim yet large figure stood beside me, I turned and gasp in excitement. She returned. Oh god bless she returned !!

I clumsily shifted my other chair towards her, while moving away to give space for her to sit. She smiled politely and accept my polite invitation.

Me : How are you ?

TCL : Fine , you ?

Me : me too , just a little busy with my work .

TCL : *giggle* It's like that lah .

This part is blur, all I know is we had a very long chat but it was so quick that it felt like the conversation is fast forwarded. Untill then, I told her what I wanted to tell her for 2 years now....

Me : CL, I am really sorry for letting this happen. I am sorry for all these things happened to you. If only I confess my love to you, you didn't have to go through this hell, I...

TCL : *giggle*Jie, there's no need to feel sorry for me. It's all right, it ain't your fault. This is my decision. It could be worst if you have me as your girlfriend , everyone will stereotype us how unmatch we are .

I never expected her to be that cool, after all these months since she ran away with that fucktard boy, her dignity still intact. Now we reached to the end of the conversation..and it was no surprise to me.

TCL : oh yea I forgot to tell you , I am 2 months pregnant .

Me : *smile* congrats .

TCL : So I need to go now , my husband is waiting for me .

Me : Let me guide you out .

TCL : *giggle and nod* sure .

Before we walked out from my door , I managed to give her a peck in the cheek . She wasn't surprised , she just looked and smiled at me , acknowledge my love to her , but she's married and ready to go elsewhere . As we stand outside my house , we continue our last conversation :

Me : Hey CL , I would like to meet your husband .

TCL : Sure , oh there he is !

*a large Land Rover stopped in front of my house*

TCL : Yung Jie , meet my husband...........

I was eager to see his, I was eager to se his FUCKING FACE. THAT FUCKTARD WHO DRAGGED HER DOWN TO HELL BY COMMITING KHALWAT, THAT FUCKER WHO KNOCKED HER UP, THAT FUCKER WHO PURSUADED HER TO LEAVE HER FAMILY AND RAN AWAY WITH HIM TO KINGDOM COME, SON OF THE BITCH LET ME SEE HIS FACE !! (and I only had a glimpse of him during the anouncement of STPM result last year)

And no it didn't realised, I felt myself being dragged back, vision began to blur, forcing me to opened my eyes. I was in my bed room again, my heart pounding, fueled with excitement and angst. I felt the urge to rush down to make sure she was still outside, however another feeling smack me in the face, telling me that it was only a dream. A dream. A dream. A MOTHERFUCKING DREAM.

No matter how much I hate her for doing this, the only fact remain : I still love her, and I ashame to admit that....I feel lonely.